We Can Make A Difference

It takes some courage and right attitude to make the difference. It's true that sometimes we fear to do something different in case we fail or scared that others will talk about us or laugh at us. Actually, if what we are going to do is right, we need not worry about what others say. I've told myself , if no one else can make a difference, it's going to be me. I'm talking about the few cases I've experienced and glad that I've made a difference in others lives.

I am referring to the domestic violence cases around our neighbourhood. I braved all warnings and threats and dared to support the victims as they struggle and escape from their tormenting life. Our assistance, comforting words and whatever aid we may offer are indeed helpful and welcoming to the victims. It's not an easy task, I can assure you, however it's worthwhile as we see positive results in the end. In one case, the husband still refuses to provide for the family or change to be better. Thanks to our Malaysian law there is a court order to prevent the husband from entering the protected house where the wife and children live. Luckily too that there are NGOs which can provide assistance in the form of good advice, counseling and legal aid . If I had given up from the beginning due to fear, this DV victim might already be six feet underground. Why do I say so? Gosh, if you had seen how her head was smashed, eyes almost dug out, stitches on her back etc. If you have heard of her tormenting experiences when chillies was rubbed on both her eyes and the verbal abuse like being called an 'anjing' or a dog, a 'pelacur' or 'prostitute' by her husband or his family members, how would you have reacted? Well, some may say, " Serve her right? Why did she marry him in the first place and have so many children?" or "That's normal, a husband has a right to do all that and as a good wife she should live with it." Some religions teach that a wife should be submissive, right? Actually, we must be persistent in achieving our aims. I believe in the man in blue and have been going in and out of the police station always accompanying ladies who are in troubles caused by their irresponsible husbands. I learnt that these men who call themselves husbands think that they have a right to control their wives, abuse them and some think that their religious law is on their side. I have seen with my own eyes how the wives and children live. They hardly have food to eat, go hungry for days, no money to go to school, and in one case, the water supply to the house was cut off due to an alarming amount of unpaid water bills for 2 years. In all the cases, the husbands blame their wives for their family problems and instead of admitting their mistakes, they will continue to torture them, vowing to make them suffer and if their wives are working, they will not give them any money. In this way, the poor wife will spend all their money on the children and they even hope their wives will be helpless and beg for their help. Meanwhile, they will jolly their time and money away, looking for pleasure in alcohol, a new girl friend or wife and go to night clubs ,gambling, spending freely without thinking of their children who need to pay for their school fees, books, food and other necessities. My heart aches learning of their suffering. Perhaps, I can feel their pain as well that I can understand the help they really need. Oh yes, some husbands will not hit their wives but their torture is more subtle, they have extra-marital affairs, they abandon their wives and children and they even summon their wives. It's the same tormenting experience and I learnt that these women are tough and good fighters too. Though they are driven almost crazy , perhaps suicidal, luckily the ones I know of do not give up easily. It'll be too long to write in my blog so for the time being, I've said enough. I've made a difference in others lives and I'm glad I've done so and still doing it. That's all it matters. Definitely, we can make a difference.