STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

 

No woman deserves violence, ever. Violence against a woman is a crime, and a violation of her human rights.

This is the slogan that appears in the website of WAO or Women's Aid Organization or Pertubuhan Pertolongan Wanita in Malaysia.  WAO COUNSELLING LINE: 03 7956 3488

http://www.wao.org.my/backup_v1_21.7.2011/index.htm 

What can I do to help stop violence against women?  I used to think I couldn't be of help or I would not dare to be involved in these dangerous cases but now I am positive I can do something and make a difference in someone's life.  After attending a seminar on women's rights in the early 1990s organized by my Teacher's Union where a few speakers from AWAM ( All Women's Action Society ) gave interesting and enlightening talks on domestic violence and sexual harassment, I was motivated and began to show interests in those disturbing issues.  I remembered the demonstration or a short play where the victims were hurt physically and tortured mentally.  I got hold of a number of phamlets and booklets that provided tips on how women can protect themselves and where to get help.  That session made an impact on me that I started taking down the contact numbers of AWAM and WCC ( Women Crisis Centre Penang now known as Women Centre For Change) .  I had a great urge to read more about women's rights and the laws in Malaysia that protect women and so I have done so until today.  

As a committee member of Puspanita Selama, I took the opportunity to organize seminars on women's rights and Syariah Laws twice.  WCC Penang sent their experienced and respected lawyer speakers here.  Yes, women need to know about the laws that affect themselves and their families.  They must be brave to make important decisions, to know where to seek for help when they get into trouble, how to file for a divorce and be confident to start a new life alone or with their children.  Women need to be educated so that they will not simply believe in myths, old impractical customs and live in fear of threats and tortures by their cold and heartless husbands and sometimes their in-laws.

Headlines splashed on newspapers about rapes, molests, incests, sexual abuse on women and girls, sexual harassment at a work place and murders of of domestic violence victims had always caught my attention and I get emotional or upset about them.  If any of my friends or colleagues would say that it was the victim's fault I would get mad and start an argument. Sometimes, I let them win and they think they really have won the arguement but I would laugh inside.  It is useless as they refuse to believe the truth and face the facts.  Let them be.  We can only do what we can.   I have to warn my own children, grandchild and pupils about the dangers around and remind them to avoid them.  A mother's worries are never ending especially when we have daughters. 

Mixing around and making new friends in this sleepy town is interesting and through conversations I learned about people's family affairs and pitiful stories.  It is usually about wife-battering, husbands leaving their first wives for younger ones, unfair treatment by their husbands and in many cases, they are broke and dare not ask for help.  People generally love to talk about others but they will not help.  Some will say it is the job of the social welfare officers.  It is better to mind their own business.  If the women are involved in other's family affairs, their husbands will not like it and they will get into trouble.  Someone told me she is afraid she might not go to heaven . 

It is a small town where everybody knows everybody.  Their abusive husbands may have police or religious officers as friends too and women are threatened not to report.  It is indeed difficult but only the domestic violence victims themselves must make the police reports and get help. They are usually threatened to withdraw the reports they have made.  The victims have to be strong and they themselves must make the move to save themselves.  They have to be positive-minded and if they meet good friends ,care-givers, volunteers and counselors , then they are very lucky as there is hope and light for them. 

More and more must know of their rights and not only women but men too have to be educated and disciplined to stop violence against women.  Drunken men return home to batter their wives, steal their money and force them to have sex .  I heard of a case where the lady was pregnant again and the man had left.  Just imagine the physical, emotional and mental abuse had been going on for four or five years.  Within the four walls, the man thinks it's his right to do anything because it is his house.  For years, the small children have seen their father beating their mother, sometimes bleeding from the mouth, the skull and body.  One of them told me it was always her head and face which received  the hard blows.  Her eyes would be blue-black and swollen for days and she would be embarrassed to meet people.   To make matters worse, her in-laws who side her abusive husband will use abusive language as well.  To certain women, it is all right for their husbands to beat them because their mothers got beaten and their grandmothers too.  Men think it's their right to do so.  All these wrong beliefs have got to change.  

Children are witness to the violent actions, the screamings of their mother, her cries and her moaning in pain.  Children live in trauma and perform badly in school as the environment is really bad.  Children's characters are affected as they become abusive and rascals themselves.  Usually, their mother's health is badly affected as she normally suffers from hypertension, gastric , stomach ulcers, insomnia and depression.  Some victims even thought of committing suicide or running away with another man.  However, it is the children who hold them back.  They have no heart to leave them so they stay on and continue to endure the torture and pain. Sometimes, their husbands do not change but get worse.  

Thanks to the advancement of ICT that we're able to go online and be connected wherever we are in this world, of course if the place has internet service.   I received an S.O.S. for help and that was the moment I vowed to help a domestic violence victim and of course I had to turn to WCC Penang for advice and help and there was a counseling session conducted for the victim at once.  Without any training in counseling or experience in handling such a 'high profile' case, yet I took it all in my hands  and persistently continued to help her end her sorrows.  Frantically, I searched through the internet , googled and yahooed and finally I found the golden keyword, PWW ( Perak Women For Women ) and immediately got in touch with the most efficient secretary I've known, Siew Keen.  It was the introduction to a kind and generous lawyer from PWW and I was overjoyed as I knew it was the only chance to save the victim and I persistently pursued this case till it saw light.  The nightmare is over today and life has changed for the better for this poor victim.  

Personally, I never expected to be involved in a few other cases but things just happened after I sympathized with the victims.  Crying was no use but well-planned actions had to be taken fast.  Mostly with my pen and laptop I'd be working on it and it was easy as I managed to get replies and attention from some top important people.  After becoming a member of PWW, I was given opportunities to attend workshops, a counseling course for volunteers, seminars and even write articles in Bahasa Malaysia for its bulletin, Suaranita.  

Our government, through Kementerian Wanita & Pembangunan Masyarakat has been combating social ills but without working together with Women NGOs in Malaysia, we will not see positive results.  A lot more need to be done.  It is disappointing when efforts made by any Woman  NGO in protecting women's rights get objections from certain parties to the extent their websites get blocked and actions taken against them.  Just imagine how many precious lives would have been lost if these women NGOs do not exist.  Women with the same interests to fight this course, that is to stop violence against women have to come together to show their support.  When women's welfare is concerned, women leaders should be in charge so the country badly needs more efficient women leaders in this matter.  

Human trafficking is an international crime and women are victimized in wars and are treated inhumanely through unacceptable cultures and traditions.  Laws made by men in favour of men have to be abolished or ammended.  Let's hope more awareness is raised and women will rise up bravely to fight for their own rights, learn to protect themselves from the dangers around and break the chains for freedom.  Love, respect, kindness , caring and sharing are universal values to create a peaceful world, so let's practise these values in this life. This year's campaign theme is, "From Peace in the Home to Peace in the World: Let’s Challenge Militarism and End Violence against Women."

The fight to stop violence against women is on.  Join us!

                                                  

Some interesting links related to this topic :


http://www.saynotoviolence.org/ 

SAY NO UNITE / END VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN 


http://www.stopvaw.org/ 

Stop Violence Against Women

http://www.ikim.gov.my/v5/index.php?lg=1&opt=com_article&grp=2&sec=&key=681&cmd=resetall

Institute of Islamic Understanding Malaysia - OMBAK

http://www.wao.org.my/news_details.php?nid=207&ntitle=You+Can+Make+A+Difference+Now+%28YCMADN%29:+Wanita+Tidak+Selamat

WAO - Wanita Tidak Selamat

http://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/

End Violence Against Women

http://www.facebook.com/ThePixelProject